Monstarr Magic

Christmas monstarr

2006-12-26T17:04:00.000Z

Many, many weeks have passed since my last post. You know the score by now, my posts are sporadic at best. I'm currently at my parents place having a very chilled time. I've eaten rubbish and watched pure fluff on tv. It's amazingly tiring doing nothing.

I've got lots to write about but am lacking the motivation to write, the old problem rears its head once again. My flat seems to be going ahead but I'm not actually sure what stage it is at at the moment. I am excited about but it all seems a little unreal. I'm going to be very sad not to live with Sandeep anymore thats for sure.

The title for the seventh, and last, Potter book was announced last week: "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows". It sounds eerie and mysterious. Huge online debate has already commenced to analyse the potentiall meaning of the title. I just can't wait for the book, it is going to kick ass. I think Harry will finally start to show his potential, the death of APWBD needs to be avenged. Amongst other things of course.

I'm going to unskinny bop for NYE and have yet to decide upon a costume idea? Captain Jack? An eighties rocker? Go as myself? The choices are seemingly endless...

As for the NYE period, Eric is popping over from the states and that is hugely exciting. Last time I saw him we went on a little date and had a blast. We are friends but there is an undeniable chemistry between us. Regardless of that, it will be superb to see him again.

Speaking of ex's, I had a missed call from Stephen today which is of note simply, and only, because he never calls me or gets in touch. Odd.

reviews...

2006-11-13T20:47:00.000Z

http://www.thisisfakediy.co.uk/articles/3499. - loving the girl aloud

http://www.thisisfakediy.co.uk/articles/3527.html - sohodolls, pah!

http://www.thisisfakediy.co.uk/articles/3537.html - moved by the motorettes

More coming soon...

and some stuff about me too. I feel like writing again.

more muso rubbish....

2006-10-19T19:16:00.000+01:00

http://www.thisisfakediy.co.uk/articles/3309.html - All Saints 'Rock Steady'

http://www.thisisfakediy.co.uk/articles/3311.html - The Grates 'Science is golden'

http://www.thisisfakediy.co.uk/articles/3313.html - Amy Winehouse 'Rehab'

I think the Amy Winehouse one is my favourite out of this lot.

fakediy

2006-09-24T12:49:00.000+01:00

For your reading pleasure:

http://www.thisisfakediy.co.uk/articles/2558.html

http://www.thisisfakediy.co.uk/articles/2565.html

http://www.thisisfakediy.co.uk/articles/2824.html

http://www.thisisfakediy.co.uk/articles/2928.html

http://www.thisisfakediy.co.uk/articles/2967.html

I've done a fair bit of writing recently. I keep forgetting to post the links on here, or indeed, post anything on here. Have been very lazy. Naughty monstarr. I always have the intention to blog everyday but I forget, get distracted, the usual excuses.

Mini-update: I've started my third msc module and is going well. My amnesty group had its summer festival recently and it was a great success. Am no longer seeing Chris, the boy I teasingly mentioned before. He "doesn't want to be in a relationship right now." Hey ho, life move's on.

I recently met Jake shears of scissor sisters fame and am hoping to get an interview for fakediy. Am a little bit intimidated by the prospect but am sure it will be fine.

Have also recently re-read 'Bridget Jones: beyond the edge of reason'. I know its fluff but its very funny.

All hail the bad ones

2006-08-01T12:49:00.000+01:00

So, here it is, in two parts; my tribute to sleater-kinney. This really was a labour of love and while I have my doubts that it's my best piece of writing it's certainly my most significant and personal to date. I just hope that I've done them justice.

Part one: http://www.thisisfakediy.co.uk/articles/2533.html

Part two: http://www.thisisfakediy.co.uk/articles/2546.html

I should also mention that a young man called Chris is making me smile rather a lot at present. More on him to come.

scissor sisters

2006-06-22T23:35:00.000+01:00

For your reading pleasure:

http://www.thisisfakediy.co.uk/articles/2089.html

filthy & gorgeous

2006-06-21T22:38:00.000+01:00

Hurrah for the Scissor Sisters! I was lucky enought to be at the scala on Monday and I witnessed their triumphant live return to the UK. I'll include the set list below. The gig was amazing and just watch out for a song called 'I don't feel like dancing'. It kicks ass!

Take your mama
I can’t decide
Tits on the Radio
She’s my man
Laura
Paul McCartney
Everybody wants the same thing
Kiss you off
Mary
The other side
I don’t feel like dancing
Comfortably numb
Music is the victim
Land of a thousand words
Filthy/Gorgeous

Dude, I'm in Spain

2006-06-11T00:22:00.000+01:00

"Dude, I'm in Spain..." Those were the words that I uttered as I made my way into a loo in a very nice tapas restaurant in Palma when the lovely chris parkes called me on my mobile. It was the week after my assignments had been handed in and Richard and I were on a weeks holiday. We were staying a short ride bus away from Mallorca's capital city and we had ventured into the city to try out a tapas place we had seen in some tourist information.

I had originally thought that I had booked us into a hotel in Palma itself but we ended up in C'an Pastilla, a small beach based town 20mins from Palma. I wasn't disappointed. The beaches were glorious and the hotel was in easy reach. It was relatively quiet as it wasn't yet high season and we explored the area, trying our best to eat in the more local looking cafes than the ones obviously catering for the UK holiday maker.

I took the opportunity to totally chill. Richard and I had a laugh and I only got hammered once. Even then the endless sunshine made the hangover much more manageable. We checked out the gay scene one night. It was dire, truly. The only redeeming aspects of the night were that the drinks were quite cheap and I snogged a cute Italian.

I realised just before leaving for the airport on the way out that I had not had a 'proper' holiday since I had got home from Australia. Then I realised that even before Oz I didn't really do proper holidays. I seem to take days off here and there but maybe I don't do enough with them? A subject to ponder I think.

The fact that my first two assignments were done was a constant source of Joy for me through out the rest of May. I spent many an evening doing nothing but delighting in the fact that I could do nothing and not feel too guilty about it. I had intended to try and catch up with the many people that I been so woefully neglecting since January. Sometimes I marvel that I have any friends left at all but then maybe I'm being a touch melodramatic. June is now upon me and I still feel a bit at sea with many of my closest friends. I have a tangible feeling of being slightly disengaged from my friends lives. I have no doubt that the blame lies squarely with me but nonetheless I have felt more than a little sorry for myself on occasion. This is pointless and a bit pathetic so I try to give myself a mental slap whenever these kinds of mood take hold of me.

As expected my stress levels rapidly diminished with the completion of my assignments but I will really have to make sure that come September that I get the balance right between work, study, and having a life. I think that I can do it. I just need to prove it.

And breathe...

2006-05-15T21:15:00.000+01:00

My assignments are done, at long last, with much pain and stress. They are complete! I'm a happy little monstarr.

I'm having May off. No studying, no magistrate stuff. I'm having a time out. A bit of me time.

In the meantime, has anyone seen any margaret cho yet? C'mon people, she rocks!

Nearly there...

2006-04-29T16:41:00.000+01:00

It's so close I can almost taste it...the sweet smell of freedom from my first two msc modules. One assignment is complete and the other is kinda coming together. I feel like I've just about survived the last few months, what I've suffered I've brought on myself of course but it doesn't stop me feeling sorry for myself. Pathetic, I know. I've been comfort reading 'half blood prince', a sure sign I've needed cheering up.

I also feel somewhat lost without Malcolm. In the end I had to break up with him around three weeks ago and I've missed his company keenly. I've no right to complain of course but he has been such a rock from the first moment I met him. Sadly, I still feel I made the right decision. Whether Malcolm will still want me around in the future is another matter and one that I cannot answer here. I do hope so though.

Lots of has been happening, Val with her ear op, Richard and work issues, Dam's 30th birthday, Rick & Zahra buying a flat, Katie becoming a superintendent. So much stuff and I seem to have missed the majority of it. I feel like I've been trapped in a bubble and work and study stress and that life is passing me by a little bit.

I'm looking forward to having more time for my friends, doing non study stuff, getting drunk without endless feelings of guilt. Hell, I've even missed swimming! I can't believe that!

I've also recently fallen in love with Margaret Cho (www.margaretcho.com) who is a wonderful comic from the US. She is very funny, political and pro-gay. I highly recommend her. I saw her recently live in London and I almost got a hernia from laughing so much. Check her out!

FYI: I've reset my comments setting so anyone can post now, go for it peoples!

I never thought I'd feel this something rise up in my veins, looks like it's disappointment again

2006-03-19T16:07:00.000Z

I've never been so busy or stressed. I don't think I've ever been so lazy with my friends. My time planning skills have sucked for my two msc modules and I'm royally paying the price now. I'm working and studying flat out, I've missed AI and swimming, I barely see Malcolm. I'm no fun monstarr at present that's for sure. And, you see, all I'm doing at the moment is moaning, my current circumstances are entirely of my own creation and it's upsetting me a great deal that I'm struggling to cope. I've no right to moan but yet I must otherwise I'll explode. Everythings seems a problem or a barrier in my studying time, my priorities are all upside down, I'm not myself.

The task is to get through these two modules and then take a long hard look at how I'm going to do things different for my next msc semester. It's going to take a lot of planning and routine but I have to find a way to combine work and study and having a life. There must be a way and I need to find it.

It's not all doom and gloom though. Yesterday Sandeep and I attended our first civil partnership ceremony. An old university friend was tying the knot with his long term boyfriend and we were among fifty or so guests at a small ceremony in a village outside Oxford called (rather amusingly) Horton Cum Studley. The ceremony itself was both romantic and dignified and the two boys looked very dapper and handsome in their (thankfully not matching) morning suits. Lovely words were said, rings were exchanged and then the free champagne flowed. We had a delicious sit down dinner (Sandeep and I sat with fellow homos from my university days) and drank rather a lot of wine.

There was an obligatory disco after dinner and the DJ played some classic pop trash. I danced and drank but didn't disgrace myself in any way and felt reasonably ok the next day. It was a lovely day and I was so pleased to have been there. The only bum note of the weekend was the rather pricey cab fare back to the train station but hey ho.

So, I'm meant to be studying of course and I shall return to it momentarily. I'm looking forward to May a great deal, my assignments will be handed in and then I can turn my attention to a pile of magistrate stuff awaiting my attention, d'oh! Still, that isn't as time consuming so I'm not too worried. To motivate myself to finish my assignments quicker I'm not going to allow myself to drink or party till they're done. Sometimes it takes drastic measures!

Does anyone love you ... (the way that I loved you?)

2006-03-07T22:38:00.000Z

2006 is now well into full swing and I am totally and utterly swamped. I knew I was going to be taking on a lot but I hadn't reckoned on feeling on the verge of out right panic that takes over me on occasion.

It's going to take time to find a balance and I need to stop stressing myself out about it. I definitely need to forward plan more in terms of sorting out what studies I need to do when and this will, I'm sure, make me feel less panicky. In hindsight it seems somewhat less than sensible of me to start being a JP in the same year I start an MSC but it's a bit late to worry about that now. In my defense I will say that I really thought that my application to become a JP would be unsuccessful. In the event of that I had decided to reapply after my MSC was done. Fate had a different idea however and here I am.

Things will be easier next year when my training and first appraisal as a JP is over and by that time I (hopefully!) will have got into a planned and manageable study routine. I can hardly wait! In the meantime I have to be tough and organised to get myself through my first two MSC modules. They finish at the start of May and then I may go out and get riotously drunk.

On a less pleasant note my current stress levels have been playing havoc with my moods and that is an incentive on its own to sort myself out. I have been a bit more miserable, reflective and, to be honest, not as nice as company as I would like to be. Sandeep and Malcolm have been suffering like heroes.

Malcolm especially. If only because he knows me so much less than Sandeep. Sandeep knows me all too well but Malcolm doesn't have this luxury so I've been feeling guilty about my recent behaviour around him. This behaviour has included my appearing more distant, distracted and quiet. I have struggled to relax around him, but what he wasn't aware of was that I was/am having trouble relaxing in general.

My feelings toward him have been clouded and that is no way for a tentaviely starting relationship to go on. I am not sure how I feel about him in a romantic sense but I have explained this the best I can to him and my reasons were honest and simple. I'm currently so overwhelmed in my life that I'm not best placed to judge my own feelings at present. This may sound a touch callous or escapist but is an accurate reflection of my current state.

My respect for Malcolm only increased when I personally told him about my current study/emotional state. He was sweet, considerate and direct with his questions. He reassured me but at the same time let me know where I stood. He listened with compassion and had faith that what I was telling him was true.

Bless him, once we had stopped talking about 'heavy' stuff I immediately felt more relaxed. We had beer, food and wine, more alcohol then some good naked and sweaty fun. Excellent.

there's one thing I have to say so I'll be brave, you were what I wanted, I gave what I gave.

2006-03-01T22:13:00.000Z

I must get out of this unfortunate habit pf only posting once a month. It's not like there's nothing for me to say. On the contrary, my life is awash with activity. Work, study, men, Kelly Clarkson. Oh yes, it's all in there. Bumping into ex's has been in the mix too but that was rather inevitable at some point I guess.

Swimming is also present and accounted for and my instructor actually told me I was "much better" these days. Hurrah! I smiled broadly at that I can tell you.

Now I'm typing I'd like to carry on and write a fuller post but it's late and my bed is calling. I'll write sooner I promise. In the meantime, just look forward to the upcoming betty boo release called 'wig wam'! I can't wait! Betty is back!

Since you've been gone, I can breathe for the first time

2006-02-01T16:32:00.000Z

Jeez, I'm sporadic with this damn blog. Must try harder is the lesson for little ol' monstarr here.

So, what's new? The boy from Manchester turned out to be all talk and no action. Multiple texts (many of them x rated) were exchanged and one very steamy phone call but all for none. James never got back to me and so never came to visit me. It's a shame really as he was hot but it's funny how life works out coz James didn't get back to me and then I met ...

Malcolm. More on him later.

New Year was simply the most fun. A fabulous danish dinner at Peter's house and then off to unskinny bop I went (www.unskinnybop.co.uk) where I danced and partied with Richard, Rob, John, Tom, Dan, Tim and a host of other happy homosexuals. They played the best songs (as per usual), since u been gone and crazy chick sending me especially wild. As I was at the bop, pulling was the last thing on my mind but pull I did. I spotted a rather lovely chap giving me the eye though I got rather confused at one point when I saw him snogging a girl I knew to be a Lesbian. Odd. Anyhoo, later, after midnight I took the plunge and went over to said boy and said 'ello.

I'm rather glad I did as before to long we were snogging like it was 1999. I'm not going to talk too much about Malcolm here but I will say he's 31, an indie boy, an aspiring novelist and helped me see in the new year in a very enjoyable way. You know what I mean!

I've begun my advanced swimming class though, after three weeks, I can't really describe my own swimming as advanced! The classes are very tough and I feel almost like I've been attacked after them. I'm not doing as well as I would like and this makes me frustrated. I have been practising harder and have tried to adjust my technique (front crawl especially) to my instructors comments. I do enjoy swimming though so it's worth the effort.

In a move that's most unlike me I have joined a gym. It's the same gym that Sandeep goes to and it is a rather plush gym with a very mixed clientele and friendly staff. Have no fears, I'm not going to turn into some muscle bound muscle mary or become a body fascist, I just going to try and build my overall fitness and see what happens.

It's only been just over a month since Christmas but it seems so far away already. I was somewhat surprised to receive a card and letter from S______ as I had decided that it wouldn't be a good idea for me to send one to him. I read the letter with some trepidation but I needn't have been too concerned. Apart from a family health problem he seemed fine. He invited me to get in touch and told me that he still cared about me. I wasn't sure how to take this or, indeed, how I felt about it. So, I did what I always have done with this situation, I reminded myself of the decision I took many months ago, shook off my sadness, and tried my best to move forward. I hope that he is doing the same.

I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know, please don't say you're sorry

2005-12-25T20:06:00.000Z

Christmas post part II

So, Saturday morning in Manchester came around and thankfully without a hangover for me or Captain Keane. We slowly got ready and walked into town where we indulged ourselves at cafe katsouris a cafe/deli with an allday breakfast. Hmmm, grease-tastic. We strolled around the city centre the map, this time, didn't fail me and we got around without any major problems. We went into the arndale centre which was monotonous shopping at its worst and was full of people wearing some terrible tracksuits and the odd piece of talent.

Later on we met up with a lovely girl called Sheena who worked at the marsden during the years that I was away. She was a favourite of CK's while she worked there and he was very pleased that we managed to meet up with her. She turned out to be very funny and bubbly and she took me to where all the skater shops were. This made me very happy. I bought a very cool pair of etnies but I did totally fall in love with a pair of black & white ska etnies which, sadly, the shop didn't have in my size and they were girls trainers apparently, d'oh. I got the assistant to write down the catalogue name and number of the trainers and i'm determined to track them down online. They were a fine pair of trainers

Onto the main event of the weekend! I introduced CK to the delights of wagamamas and then we caught a cab to the apollo. We had to queue for a while to get some beers in but I didn't waste this time. I got talking to the very cute guy in the queue behind me about his tattoo which stretched from his wrist up onto his (rather nice) chest. He was an electrician and very attractive with it. As I moved away from the bar with the beer he gave a broad smile and told me to enjoy my night. I smiled back, feeling a burst of excitement in the pit of stomach which was completely unrelated to the imminent arrival of the human league on stage. I was beginning to like mancunian men more and more.

The human league were a heap of fun and I enjoyed the gig immensely. I have written a review for www.thisisfakediy.co.uk and I hope that it gets posted very soon. CK and I danced and sang our little asses off and I was left somewhat hoarse by the end of the show. It was a fantastic gig and I would thoroughly recommend the human league to anyone who haven't seen them live before.

I was on a real high as we made our way back into the city centre and I persuaded CK to come with me to poptastic, Manchester's version of my beloved popstarz. We got their before 11.00 as I mistakenly believed that we would get in for free. This led to a slight disagreement between myself and the clubs promoter on the door. I hadn't read the bit on the website which declared: "free before 11.00 if you are wearing all white", oops. The funny thing was that the promoter couldn't remember this, simply telling me at the door that I was wrong. I paid quite happily, there was no where else I wanted to go and CK and I made our way in to find that we were the first people to arrive, d'oh! I hate being the first in a club, it's kind of creepy. About ten minutes later the club promoter finds me on the dancefloor and proceeds to tell me about the dressing up in white rule. I apologised, while the promoter gave me a filthy look and then walked off. Jeez, that boy had a lot of attitude. By the end of night no-one that I could see came all in white. Great promotion.

The club itself, once it warmed up (and I mean that literally) was very cool and the £1.50 drinks didn't hurt either. Early on I spotted a rather cute guy standing with a friend on the dancefloor, not far from CK and I. He was a touch shorter than me with closely cropped black hair, a friendly, attractive face and arms that made you horny simply by looking at them. I didn't really go after him in the proper sense (this was a mistake as I found out later) but I did try and make sure that he knew that I had noticed him. He danced near me quite a few times, both in the trash room and indie room but, as far as I could tell, I got no vibes from him at all.

I randomly bumped into Andy, a friend I met at Q&A (the gay indie night inMelbourne), which was very cool, and it was when I was dancing with him much later on in the night when I spotted the cute guy from earlier sitting down next to CK in the corner of the indie room. I was a little annoyed, thinking that it would be more than a little ironic that one of the only guys I had fancied all night was chatting up CK.

Luckily for me, I was mistaken. I noticed CK beckoning me over rather violently with his head and as soon as I got there, CK zoomed off to the loo. The cute boy, it turned out, had been asking CK about me, hurrah! We talked briefly before he announced that he had to go. I was bit put out that he approached me (through CK) so late in the night but the snog I got before he left more than made up for it. That was a damn fine kiss. So, James from Stockport, thank you, you made my night.

James and I exchanged numbers and, with more than a little encouragement from CK, I texted him and invited him to join CK and I the next day for lunch. We met at cafe katsouris (I really liked this cafe) and James proceeded to spend next three hours with us. We all got on well and James seemed like a really nice guy. I was pleased to see that he was just as good looking in the harsh light of day and I was even more pleased when he accepted an invitation to come and see me in London sometime in January.

It was only a kiss, and it was only lunch, but I left Manchester with a definite buzz. Even if nothing comes of it, for the first time since S______ I felt excited about a boy. That alone was the icing on the cake of a fucking excellent weekend.

A big thank you really must go to CK though. He really made the weekend something special. He made me laugh, put up with my often terrible navigation of the map, was a top travelling companion and helped me meet the hottest guy in poptastic. Cheers CK, here's to out next jolly away somewhere.

I just don't care anymore, I've reached the end of the road

2005-12-25T18:38:00.000Z

Merry christmas to whom ever may read my silly but hopefully somewhat entertaining blog!

My parents, bless them, have bought me an ipod and it is a thing of beauty. It lies next to me as I type from my dads office which used to my own small bedroom. That was a long time ago. My ipod is slender, so light! It's going to be so cool having my entire CD collection in my hand. I'm very excited despite being very behind the times in getting one.

In the time since my last post I've succumbed somewhat to the madness and stress of the holiday season. I've been more than a little tetchy at work, was extremely disorganised and rushed when it came to writing cards and getting presents and I've relieved to be at my parents house, having the oppourtunity to chill out. I've been disappointed by the fact that I haven't managed to fit in a swim in the last week and a half, and I really need to apply myself again if I'm to get the most out of my forthcoming advanced swimming lessons. I'll make sure I go when I get back to London next week.

In the midst of the current holiday stress I did manage to head up to manchester with Captain Keane for the weekend. We arrived on Friday lunchtime, managed to get caught in heavy traffic on the way to hotel (this was especially bad as my bladder was at breaking point by this point!) and settled in the hotel room before having our first explore of the city centre. I procured a map of the city centre from reception and we managed not to get lost when it took us a mere fifteen minutes to walk into the centre.

We did a bar crawl along Canal street which was a lot of fun. Captain Keane espcially enjoyed the subtleties of bar 'queer' and he was almost mesmerised by the muscly go-go dancer who was doing his thing in a makeshift cage on the bar. Classy. We had a laugh, didn't get wasted (go us!) and I succeeded in getting us lost on the walk back to the hotel. We fortunately stumbled onto the right road and made it back although I was in a towering rage at my inability to read the map right. Perhaps I did have one budweiser too many!

I was mixed up, so confused

2005-12-13T22:00:00.000Z

So, a right riotous weekend was had. Mind you, even though I say that, no hangovers or dubious stains were incurred so I'm pleased about that.

Friday night brought around my works christmas do and, as I expected, the cheap wine and sherry was out in force in the main waiting room along with some nibbles. I stayed for one glass before dragging Sam off for some proper food in a nearby italian. We had a good meal, chatted over a bottle of wine, put the world to rights work wise and a good deal of carbs inside us. Suitably stuffed, we made our way to Cactus Blue, a bar near the hospital where the radiotherapy department had overtaken a room. A recently retired consultant had put some money behind the bar so my first two drinks were free. Excellent. I had a good time merrily chatting to my colleagues, everybody looked different dressed up and in a festive mood. There wasn't any outrageous gossip and as I left around 11pm I missed out on the after hours drinking that went out at separate locations.

Still, I couldn't really complain about that as I had the London Regional Amnesty International conference to go to the following morning. Thanks to the two pints of water and berroca that I had before going to sleep, I awoke hangover free and made it to the conference only ever so slightly late. Pretty poor really as I only live a ten minute walk away from the human rights action centre. Oops. The conference was stirring and thoroughly enjoyable. The main focus was "the war on terror" and human rights abuses. I felt energised and it made me really glad that I had finally become an activist proper with AI.

Early evening saw me heading down to Streatham where friends were gathering to celebrate Phil's 30th birthday. It was a lovely evening and Phil looked immensely happy with his friends and his boyfriend around him. He had bought an absolute mountain of food and I guzzled my way through endless amounts of pizza, pringles, mini scotch eggs, deep fried mushrooms, oh, and wine of course! I had bought him a couple of presents but sadly one hadn't arrived in time. I'm looking forward to him receiving it though, I think it will definitely suit him.

Around ten pm I made my way back to central London where I meet up with Richard and Graham. Our destination was Rebel Rebel, a gay indie/rock night we hadn't ever been to but was having its xmas night at ULU. We arrived to find it very empty but were cheered by some weird tasting free beer on arrival. The night soon became super packed and getting to the bar was a royal nightmare. It was a fantastic night, I bumped into heaps of old faces, caught up with lots of friends (Welsh David - you rock!) and the club was stuffed full of gay indie hotties. Literally every time I turned my neck I saw a different cute guy. I was so overwhelmed by so much talent that I didn't try my luck with anyone. I wasn't disappointed at the end of the night though as I had a kicking night and was glad to go home to an empty bed and a good long, hangover free, sleep. Mind you, I did flirt with the cute young scotsman I had a date with back in June. He has such a lovely accent. Hmmm.

My weekend was completed in an excellent style by spending a few hours in the company of the very cool Tom & Dan on Sunday afternoon. I don't see these two friends often enough and it's a real shame as I'm very fond of them. We had lunch at canary wharf, chatted and laughed a lot. I had a tasty hot chocolate at the wonderfully named 'cafe vesuvio' and then had rather a lot of tea back at their flat. I was busting for the loo on the way home, d'oh. Dan very kindly gave me Dr who: series one on DVD (I can't wait to watch them), thanks a lot Dan!

The only bum note of the weekend was that I didn't manage to fit a swim in but I will rectify that by going tomorrow.

We had a good time at the beginning, it tasted just like all the things I was missing

2005-12-12T00:29:00.000Z

Eventful days recently. I will write a fuller post tomorrow but I didn't want to go to sleep without having written something about this weekend.

I managed to circumnavigate a packed weekend without a hangover or spending an inordinate of cash, fantastic. I had a bloody brilliant weekend, full of friends, social events, good music and a lot of hot men. More on that later.

Am uploading my CD's onto iTunes in preparation for my IPOD chrimbo pressie and I can't wait to be able to cary round my entire CD collection. Cool.

December seems to be flying past far too quickly and I haven't written a single christmas card, yikes. Still, I'm going to try my best and not be sucked into the general christmas panic which seems to go round.

I'm resolute that I'm going to spend tomorrow sorting out my room and putting together my desk. It's time to create a study space in my room. Looks like it will be a busy day. At least I'll get a bit of a sleep in as I'm not at work.

Long nights without you have taught me to be strong

2005-12-08T21:07:00.000Z

All in all, a very strange week.

On Monday night, my parents arrived and we had a nice time drinking fosters and watching Kath & Kim. I have now discovered that my laugh is a combination of my parents. Cool. The reason they had come to London was that on the following day I was due to be sworn in as a justice of the peace. This ceremony had been much delayed and excited as I was, I was also glad that day had nearly arrived.

So, bright and early the next Morning my parents and I squeezed ourselves onto the Number 8 bus and made out way to the Central criminal Court or the Old Bailey, as it is more commonly known. We were kept behind the security desk for about ten minutes before the court manager came and took us to up where the other soon-to-be-new magistrates where. We had a brief drink before being lead down grand hall ways and staircases and we finally found ourselves in Court one. The court one, the most famous court in Britain! The Krays were held on trial here. Eeeek!

All of us newbies had to sit in the jury box and in alphabetical order, stand and read aloud our two oaths to the court and in front of two judges. I was one of the last to stand and by the time I had to stand up I was more nervous than I can describe and was frankly overwhelmed by the location and the occasion.

After, we had tea in one of the judges rooms and were greeted by the judges who witnessed our swearing in. As one Judge greeted me, he looked at me in mild astonishment and said, "my goodness, new magistrates are looking younger every year!". I was secretly pleased of course.

I was more pleased and proud than I can say that my parents were with me on this very special occasion. My Mum & Dad have always supported and encouraged me. I love them both very much and I find that I get to know them better and appreciate them more and more. Thank you both for being there.

Unfortunately such a wonderful moment was followed up by the worst headache I have ever suffered. Around lunchtime on Tuesday I began to get a nasty tension headache and it is only tonight that it has finally gone. It was so bad that I didn't even go to work yesterday. Bizarre and unpleasant. It's gone now though, thank goodness!

It's my work christmas do tomorrow night, AI conference on Saturday and Phils birthday celebrations. All good stuff to look forward to.

You might have noticed that the titles of my last two posts have had nothing to do with the subject matter of the posts themselves. This is entirely deliberate and is likely to continue. The reasoning behind this? I think the titles speak for themselves.

You stayed because I made it so convenient

2005-12-04T13:56:00.000Z

Over a month since my last post, jeez, how bad am I?! Well, as you can imagine, rather a lot has gone on and I'm not entirely sure where to start.

How about the day I ended up blindfolded on downing street? Fear not, I wasn't being kidnapped or taking part in some kinky outdoor sex game. I was merely taking part in an Amnesty International demo agaisnt torture. We all wore blindfolds that said "don't turn a blind eye to torture". Basically it was a just a big publicity stunt, but there were a lot of press there so that was good. The reason AI was protesting is because at the moment the UK government is planning to return people to countries where they will be tortured. The UK government is getting the countries in question to 'promise' that they won't torture anyone but these promises aren't worth the paper they are written on.

In fitness news, after nearly twelve weeks of water-based, exhaustingly nasty 'adult improver' lessons, my swimming course has nearly completed. I'm very glad that I did it, I do feel better for the lessons despite the fatigue and aches and pains that they bring. I've been fortunate to have a friendly, professional (and not to forget very attractive) swimming instructor and I'm thrilled to announce that I've been invited to join my instructors advanced class next year, woo-hoo! Go me! To be honest, as pleased as I am by this, my technique and overall stamina still need a lot of work but I can see slow but steady improvement. I find front crawl immensely difficult and draining whereas back stroke and breast stroke have come so much quicker to me. Odd.

In short, I think I'm gonna do the advanced class. I felt so proud when my instructor told me I was good enough for his advanced class. It was one of the few times that I felt genuinely happy since May. That in itself was enough for me to want to celebrate.

I've been busy, once again, with fakediy and here is what I've written recently:

http://www.thisisfakediy.co.uk/articles/5402.html

http://www.thisisfakediy.co.uk/articles/5397.html

http://www.thisisfakediy.co.uk/articles/5399.html

I really relished writing the Madonna review, the chalets review was easy to write because I'm in love with them and the sons & daughters review was the hardest review to write and thereby the most satisfying.

Tuesday 6th December this year is a very important day. Not least because of Ricks and Linzi's birthday but also because, after months of waiting, I'll finally be sworn in as a JP. My parents will be there and the ceremony is taking place at the old bailey. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous but I'm excited too. I've got the date for my first sitting aswell. I'm really going to this, yikes!

The start of my MSC is looming and my bedroom is still not ready as a place of study yet. I've bought a desk but am yet to assemble it. I am looking forward to starting my masters but committing myself, once again, to years of study is slightly daunting. It'll be worth it in the end though.

Val has had a rough few weeks and to her credit is still being as gorgeous as she always is. Val got dumped over the phone which is totally shocking but seems to have bounced back well. She isn't enjoying her job but seems to be coping with it. I have seen her and Richard quite a lot recently and we have been having some killer nights at popstarz. We have been revisiting our pasts and been having the kind of nights we were having five years ago at popstarz; crazy drinking and dancing, snogging random boys, me snogging Val, Richard snogging Val, me snogging friends of ex's, all of us laughing constantly, poking fun at people, all of us snogging chris. Just behaving very badly and loving every minute.

Speaking of good stuff, it was Richard's 30th birthday last week and to start his celebrations Richard, Val, Rob, John and I went to see 'Edward Scissorhands' at sadlers wells. I'd never been to any kind of ballet or modern dance before but I enjoyed myself very much and was genuinely entertained and touched by the dancers and the way that the story was put across. Excellent stuff.

I consider myself incredibly lucky to have Richard in my life. He is the best kind of friend, caring, considerate, entertaining, occasionally annoying but all together very cool at the same time. He has been there one hundred percent for me ever since I first met him at popstarz six years ago. Without him I don't think I would have dealt with the G____ and S______ saga's quite so well. Dude, you rock.

Fake DIY

2005-10-28T22:38:00.000+01:00

It's shameless self promotion I know, but if anyone was remotely interested, here are my most recent articles on fakediy:

http://www.thisisfakediy.co.uk/articles/5022.html

http://www.thisisfakediy.co.uk/articles/5018.html

http://www.thisisfakediy.co.uk/articles/5017.html

I'm especially proud of this review:

http://www.thisisfakediy.co.uk/articles/4962.html

Data Panik

2005-10-28T22:24:00.000+01:00

In all that's happened over the last few months (and also due to my sporadic posting), I've neglected to write about something which was of momentous importance to me. As you will know, I was mugged in July. What you may not know is that I was on my to Glasgow that day to interview Data Panik for www.thisisfakediy.co.uk. I was very excited about this seeing as though most of data panik used to be in bis and I don't need to tell anyone how much bis meant to me.

Anyway, I digress. I managed to rearrange the interview when the band played in London in early August. Richard came with me (I was very nervous) and I got to spend about 4omins with the band. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed it. I got a real insight into the band and, of course, I asked lots of questions I'd always wanted to know about bis. I was so nervous about interviewing them that I completely forgot to get a photo with them, d'oh!

I wrote up the interview the next day and I can honestly say that it's my proudest moment so far in my writing career with fakediy. You can read the interview here:

http://www.thisisfakediy.co.uk/articles/4892.html

Comments are welcome!

Simon Hobart R.I.P

2005-10-24T21:20:00.000+01:00

News has reached me that Simon Hobart, founder of popstarz and saviour to all of us gay indie punk homos, has died at the too young age of 41. This is tragic news indeed and all we can do is feel for Simon's family and friends.

I never knew Simon well but over my last ten years of clubbing I often drunkenly chatted to him and, of course, popstarz has been somewhere of great significance to me. I remember very well my first ever time there in October 1995. I was wearing a pulp 'mis-shapes' t-shirt and the first song I heard as I walked in was 'the drowners' by suede. I immediately fell in love with the club, got very drunk on lemon hooch and snogged two boys. It was fantastic!

So, thank you Simon. Thank you for providing somewhere ace that all us gay mis-shapes could get down and party. This entry is dedicated to you.

social dancing @ mofo

2005-10-09T19:59:00.000+01:00

I'm very happy to say that my subconcious has finally relented and I'm not thinking about my ex anywhere near as much as I used to. I knew I'd get to this point eventually but I'm relieved that it's finally here.

It's been a mixed up, fun weekend. Met up with Val on Saturday afternoon, had an excellent gossip and enjoyed a wonderfully luxurious hot chocolate each. Val then accompanied me to Body Shop where I went slightly mad and spent about thirty quid. Sometimes I'm such a consumer whore. Scary.

I had dinner at Richard's place along with Darren, who also lives in the same building as me. We ate then made our way to club motherfucker, which was as fun as ever. The bands were a bit patchy except for the kick ass stink mitt. They are funky bad ass girl rappers.

I danced, drank (but not too much) and I think I snogged the boy singer from queer electro duo Jean Genet. I also think that I snogged his friend. They were both from Leeds. Ha! It was a hoot anyway.

Last Thursday I got to see Goldfrapp live which was simply amazing. I'm currently in the process of writing a review for www.thisisfakediy.co.uk. I managed to see Dams briefly as well as Steve W and Nick. Bless them, they look so sweet together.

I'm happy to be single. My lovelife seems less important at the moment when I have other things distracting me. My resolve over my ex hasn't changed and I doubt it will for a long time, if ever. I won't deny that if I met someone about now I wouldn't complain but I can't say that some of my recent adventures haven't been entertaining. Cute south africans with boyfriends and leeds based electro rockers, and all great kissers, result!

The State I am in

2005-09-25T00:11:00.000+01:00

I seem to be in a never ending loop of reflection, partial depression and musical obsession. I can handle, and really quite enjoy, musical obession of course but my mind seems intent on not letting me entirely get over my ex.

I am rapidly getting to the point where I'm utterly bored and exhausted with my mind and my hearts inclination to setimentality. I know this is all part of the process with break ups but I'm over it. So over it. I want to focus on my own life, god knows there's enough for me to focus on, but my mind isn't playing the game I want it to.

Still, I know this is a transient phase. This gives me comfort and I know the time is not far off where I'm not plagued by sadness and disappointment. This is, I guess, where I'm generally at emotionally. I think of my ex and I just feel like crap. When I don't, well, I'm back to my normal self. This is why I'm so annoyed with myself. I feel like I'm wallowing in my own sense of self pity and I hate it. It's not me. The time has come for something (or someone) else to dominate my mind.

I know of two excellent contenders. One is a tanned, northern nurse and the other is a lawyer who is active with amnesty. Both men have turned my head in the last few months. I rather hope that fate conspires for my path to cross theirs in the coming months.

C'mon fate, give me a break, you know I'm due one!

Chapter One: The other minister

2005-08-14T18:12:00.000+01:00

Long over due I may be, but at last I'm going to start my chapter by chapter look at 'Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince'. I don't really know what I'm looking for, or even if I'll find some clues but it'll be good to have another outlet for my deep and enduring obsession for these wonderful set of stories.

So, here we go. As you can imagine I felt an immense excitement as I laid the book down in front of me after having collected it from Waterstones. My heart was beating fast and my fingers trembled as I opened the book and started to read ...

I was surprised that JKR didn't open the book with Harry but it's not the first time she has done this and I thought introducing is to the muggle prime minister was a great way of showcasing the colliding muggle and magical worlds.

Almost at once JKR creates a dark, tense atmosphere. She unleashes bad news upon the reader with gay abandon and already shortly into the first chapter I was craving more information. I was amused reading about the muggle prime ministers struggle to accept what he was being told about the magical community. I do think that Fudge could've done a much more thorough job but that is typical of him. It was nice to see Fudge squirm and suffer after his appalling incompetencies in 'phoenix', but just losing his job hardly seemed like punishment enough after the consequences of his failures were so clearly shown in this first chapter.

Mass muggle deaths and injuries, the murders of important witches and the first use of a giant in the second wizard war. JKR doesn't hold back with the damage in this first chapter. People who say this book starts slowly must've been reading the wrong book!

The interaction between Fudge and the prime minister is almost comical at times and it's interesting to see the history of the books so far from another perspective.

The murder of Amelia Bones, though briefly mentioned, is very intriguing. The supposition from Fudge is that Voldemort himself must've murdered her as the evidence was that "she put up a real fight." I'd love to know more about this encounter, did Madam Bones manage to injure or harm Lord Voldemort and was he even acting alone? She may have been tortured for information as she held such an important post at the ministry.

Emmeline Vance's murder is shrouded in even more mystery and is a definite loss to the order.

I couldn't honestly see any major clues or mystery in this chapter. I was interested to see why the prime minister touched the wood of his desk "surreptitiously" at one point, but was this simply him seeking good luck through superstition? A bit odd.

One of my favourite moments came right at the end of the chapter after the prime minister explodes with frustration after finding out so much bad news and knowing it was all out of his control:

"But for heaven's sake - you're wizards! You can do magic! Surely you can sort out - well - anything!"

Fudge sadly replies to the muggle prime minister:

"The trouble is, the other side can do magic too, prime minister."

What an opening chapter!

Lazy Monstarr

2005-08-14T17:32:00.000+01:00

I've been exceptionally lazy over these last four days and, to be honest, I don't think it's been all that good for me.

I totally wasted Friday after a late and rather fantastic night at miss-shapes on Thursday. Miss-shapes seems to have a got a lot more popular in recent times and there was more talent than you couls shake a stick at. Most excellent.

I caught up with a lot of friends last week and that was lovely. Rick, Phil, Dams and I talked a lot about our friend Dave in Japan and enjoyed a lovely meal at a sausage and mash cafe by spitalfields market. I would highly recommend it.

Sandeep and I watched 'but I'm a cheerleader' and 'the girl next door last night'. They were both excellent.

Horcruxes and Hermione

2005-07-25T22:04:00.000+01:00

I'm still in deep, deep thought about Harry Potter. I know I said that I will doing a chapter by chapter review and that is still coming, I'm just still blown away at what has happened in the book.

The end of the book seems to have clouded my life for the past week or so. I didn't think HBP would affect me so profoundly. JKR's writing has taken on a deeper, more disturbing dimension I feel.

I watched 'a series of unfortunate events' on Saturday and though Jim Carrey over-acted as always I was reasonably impressed with the movie. I love the books and I think they captured the tone of the books well.

I have started to read a book on ethical living and am already feeling guilty. It's not a good sign.

Trials & Tribulations

2005-07-17T18:39:00.000+01:00

Harry Potter, you may be surprised to find, has not been the only thing on my mind for the past two days.

On Friday two significant things occurred. The first occurrence was that I was mugged at 6.50 am on a bright Friday morning on a normally busy street near my flat. Two men grabbed me, pulled me to the floor and disposed me of my phone, wallet and oyster card. I am immensely grateful to report that I wasn't injured at all though, of course, it wasn't comfortable to have an arm pressed against my throat or having a hand over my mouth to prevent me for shouting for assistance.

I returned to my flat, promptly terrifying my newly woken up flatmate by having a small amount of hysterics and then he called the police and made me a very strong cup of tea. The police came to the flat and were professional and kind. I enjoyed my first ride in a police car as we sweeped the area to see if the two men were still on the streets. Unfortunately, they had fled.

As a result of the mugging I felt a strange inclination to phone my ex-boyfriend who then very kindly came over to my flat. He offered to give me money to go up to Scotland. I was on my way to the airport when I was mugged and I duly missed my flight. I, however, politely refused his offer on the grounds that he couldn't afford it, I would be on my own in Glasgow with no wallet, cards or phone and after the mugging I was a little shaken up.

We spoke about things now we were no longer together and agreed that we should not see each other for a while. On the three occasions we had met up since the end of our relationship I had felt that we were still too familiar with each other. In short, it felt like nothing had happened. My ex's demeanor and behaviour to my was the same as when we were a couple. It was our inclination to be intimate together and old habits are hard to break.

We care for each other very much and will remain in touch. We both felt that some space would be beneficial to us both. I really don't want to feel the way I do about this person anymore.

A weekend of ups and downs then. Life is odd sometimes. I'm just happy to be here typing this entry. The mugging could've been far worse.

The release of 'Harry Potter and the half blood prince' has been the tonic I sorely needed and my parents returned safely from an enjoyable holiday. These things have made me happy.

Book six at last!

2005-07-17T18:31:00.000+01:00

So, 'Half Blood Prince' is here, at last. It may seem strange to say, but, as I type these words I feel an immenses amount of sadness.

I have finished the book and it has left me utterly reeling. Reviews that I have read have criticised JKR's plot line, pace and overall delivery on this book. Are these people mad?! They have claimed that the start is pedestrian. What nonsense is this? For those of us who have read Chapter one 'the other minister' know that the topics it covers are far from pedestrain. The revelations in this chapter set the tone for the rest of the book.

My intention is to let my mind settle after the trauma of what has occured in HBP and then write a chapter by chapter review on this blog. I knew that book six would be dark, scary and challenging but I underestimated JKR's ability to be, well, so cruel. Poor, poor Harry.

The scene is, indeed, set for Book 7.

2005-06-21T22:19:00.000+01:00

I got heaps of post today and I love it when that happens. It was mostly boring but there was one very exciting envelope whose contents I can't discuss here but it was good news. E-mail me if you want the details.

I spoke to lots of members of my family which was excellent. Apparently my uncle dropped my aunts brand new dog by mistake and now it might be brain damaged. D'oh!

It's still so hot but at least it means I can walk about in my flip flops.

Hump lights

2005-06-20T22:15:00.000+01:00

Yes, with a song title like 'hump lights', it can mean only one thing, Gravy train!!!! are back. They have a new album called 'are you wigglin?' out on 12 July and I can hardly wait. I first fell in love with this band back in 2003 and my obsession has only deepened. I even own a pair of gravy train!!!! pants signed by Hunx himself. they are very cool and way too important to wear

Check out www.gimmegravytrain.com

Come back to the UK soon gravy train!!!!

Start of the week ...

2005-06-20T18:29:00.000+01:00

Monday, Monday, so warm to me! Man, it's hot! The weekend was great and inexpensive so that makes me happy. I spoke to Stephen briefly too which I probably shouldn't have done but I had an urge.

Have also arranged an interview with data panik for when I go up to Glasgow to see their debut gig. I can't wait!

Credit

2005-06-10T12:56:00.000+01:00

Zoe, you rock! Thank you so much for creating this blog. I can't wait to start 'blogging'! I love the black and the blue, you're a genuis! xx

Testing

2005-06-04T21:27:00.000+01:00

Building a blog for Monstarr.....

If you like it Monstarr, email me & I'll give you the password and you're away! I also got you a free image hosting account so you won't lose your pics again :)
again, just give me a shout and I'll let you know the password for that too and you can go nuts :)

If you don't like it...fear not...it killed an hour for me and gave me something to do ;)

Ratty xx